A Paradoxical Pursuit

These past several months, nearly all of my thoughts and learning have centered around my acclimation to all of the change in my life. I've graduated, gotten married, moved, left college, and started a career. And while absolutely none of the change in my life has been bad, change is just difficult. It is the pain of leaving familiar things and the effort (and sometime pain) of acclimating to new things.

But the question occurred to me the other day, why is change so hard? Why do we dislike it so much? One would think that in the world we live in, where everything is always changing and nothing stays the way it is, that we have at some point become accustomed to the constant flux of life. But this is not, and has never been, the case. The paradox is that we expect something from the world that was never promised us. We strive toward some constant stability that this world has really never offered. And yet we pursue it still. True some have largely given up on the quest for stability, saying they rather enjoy bouncing around life in all its newness but, probably more accurately, this is largely a resolution to the state of things around them than something they really had a choice over.

And so I contemplate in my own heart why change is so unnerving and uncomfortable. I think about where this desire comes from and where my heart could possibly hope to find what it desires. And so I've come to realize that we are, in fact, made for such constancy and stability but, as with many other things, we have been looking in the wrong places.

This is a perfect example of a larger issue I'll only briefly touch on here and perhaps write more about later. Built within each of us is most certainly a desire for the Person that created us. Think of a child's desire for their parents but much deeper than that. And so people will go about life convinced that they have no desire for God but still desire the things of God which, ironically, is the sum total of who he is (let he who has ears hear). Constancy and stability are some of those things of God that we almost universally desire. We have in Jesus a God that describes himself as a Rock, who calms storms and says that he is the beginning and the end all at the same time. He rises above all of the change and flux in our world to become the One that we can always count on above all others.

I still find it comical that, just to maintain our phony sense of independence, we would settle for cheep imitations rather than go to God and take what he offers. Thirsty and wandering in the desert, I, for one, will take the water setting in front of me and drink deeply. I know many that, for some reason, would rather eat sand - I know because I was once there. If I was made to desire the things of God I will no longer look for cheap imitations elsewhere. In the midst of all the change that I am now both enjoying and struggling to acclimate myself to, I find so much joy in the fact that the peace and constancy that I look for and need can always be found in the same Place.

Mondaze

Mental Note: Stop apologizing for not blogging in a while every time you blog.

It seems like these days I'm learning so much so fast but its taking a while for all that I'm learning to come together into focus and make a coherent picture. Perhaps that gives some measure into the depth of the things God is showing me right now. These last couple months have been challenging but I have a profound sense of gratitude toward God for taking me down this path.

This Monday had started like most do. My body is here doing work but my mind usually doesn't come into work till about noon. My mind met me for lunch today and hopefully I can convince it to keep me company for the rest of the afternoon. It seems like Mondays in particular, I feel more "ecclesiastical" than most days. By that I mean that I find a kindred spirit in Solomon as he endeavored in vain to find purpose in many of the things the world so passionately pursues. His conclusion in the end is that there is only God, nothing else under the sun matters.

Well thanks Solomon, that does me a whole hell of a lot of good as I sit at work motivating myself to write another TPS report. I'm not as jaded as I sound, I promise. But continuing Solomon's contemplation does seem like a worthy activity for the 90% of my brain I usually don't need during the day.

Forgive my candor but, much like David's psalms, feelings aren't always the truth but erring them goes a long way towards exposing them for what they are. As always, if you read this and my other thoughts on this page, you honor and encourage me by your patronage. Thanks.