So last week I was sharing about the fact that I've largely found contentment in the job I am doing right now. Even in the monotonous parts of it, I've found new opportunities to practice humility and a servant's heart. That's my present situation. The second half of what I've been learning has to do with my future situation. I've spent the better part of six months praying about various aspects of my future in very specific detail as to what I desire. First off, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. You should ask God for the desires of your heart and you should be candid about what you want. But what I've become less and less clear on what exactly I want or should want. So in several areas I've coveted either a particular apartment with an even better view of the city than mine or I've coveted a contract with a five-minute commute. But lately some of these prayers, at least for me, have seemed somewhat presumptive.
I'm finding it hard to communicate what I'm feeling right now. All I can say is that God knows what's best for my life and I don't, so why I am asking for anything from God in these big areas other than that his Will be done? As I think about it, that actually sounds strangely like faith to me. And so while I still pray often and pray for very specific things, I've began to give more and more of my life to God for him to decide what's best. And so I simply pray, "Give me the job you want me to have and let me live where you want me to live. Just give me You." I know that sounds incredibly pious but its honestly what I'm feeling in my heart right now. In addition to what I talked about last week, this new attitude of faith has given me a lot more contentment in my life and allowed me to appreciate God's goodness more and more. So hopefully somewhere in this rambling blog entry you heard something that you could identify with or that was helpful to you. I feel very taken care of by God right now and that is a fantastic feeling that only makes me want more of Him.
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Hola!!!
I would like to take this opportunity to welcome the first international visitor to my blog from SANTIAGO, CHILE!!! Hola me amigo, como esta? Mui bien, et tu? Si si!! Yo Ciero Taco Bell!!! I don't mean any of that to be offensive, it's just all the Spanish I know (or I guess, don't know). Anyways, welcome amigo...This isn't to say we don't have any non-American visitors. Colbey, in fact, is from Mars!. But I don't know how to say 'hi' in Martian, so Hi Colbey!!!!
Profound Monotony
I'll lead this entry off with a quote from Oswald Chambers that JD sent to me about a week ago:
"Christian perfection is the perfection of a relationship to God that shows itself amid the irrelevancies of human life. When you obey the call of Jesus Christ, the first thing that strikes you is the irrelevancy of the things you have to do, and the next thing that strikes you is the fact that other people seem to be living perfectly consistent lives."
My implication by this quote is not that I have, by any means, perfected my walk with God but, rather, that I resonate with this irrelevancy that he talks about. I'm struck by it on a fairly regular basis. I joke about the TPS reports I write and the Matrix that I plug into each day. I feel the apparent disconnect between what I do for eight hours each day and what I feel is my purpose in life.
But as of late, God has faithfully began to provide me with a more helpful way of looking at the same situation. Here's another quote I read the other day about brother Lawrence in the book, the practice of the presence OF GOD:
"Although he had a great dislike for kitchen work, he developed quite a facility for doing it over the fifteen years he was there. He attributed this to his doing everything for the love of God, asking as often as possible for grace to do his work. He said that he was presently in the shoe repair shop, and that he liked it very much. He would, however, be willing to work anywhere, always rejoicing at being able to do little things for the love of God."
This quote made me think, what if, instead of being here at work, I was on a spiritual retreat at a monastery with brother Lawrence (it sounds kinda silly but just go with me on this). In such a place I would know going in that the goal was to increase my intimacy with God and, to that end, I would first need to learn how to prepare myself for such intimacy. In such a context, it would make perfect sense to be tasked with something like washing dishes or scrubbing floors. These kind of simplistic tasks are designed not to challenge the mind with their complexity but to teach humility and simplicity. Theses tasks would leave ample space in one's mind to contemplate God, to quiet one's soul enough to actually feel the presence of God. Just this last weekend, I had the opportunity to help my church renovate our building by pulling carpet staples up from a stairway. This extremely monotonous task seemed to pose no problem for me. I rather enjoyed the opportunity to do something simple to serve God and to take the opportunity to talk with God about life.
With all of these thoughts swirling in my head, it occurred to me that I have been given some very similar "monastic tasks" at my current place of employment. But, in this space, I have not valued simplicity or the opportunity I have to contemplate and talk to God. I see it as a drudgery and I'm bitter for the whole experience.
So I've decided that a change of approach is necessary. Each morning, I have begun to ask God for patience, humility, and the grace to my job well out of love for him. During the day, I look forward to activities that leave much of my brain free to think about God and I look for opportunities to love and serve my coworkers.
I'm almost positive that at some point I blogged about my desire to find the Kingdom in this space. To pray and wait until I began to see God breaking into this place so that his presence is apparent to me and everyone. These recent thoughts have been very exciting to me as they represent a possible to answer to that prayer from God. Could such an attitude actually make it possible to turn this entire building into my own personal monastery? Surely this would signal God's entrance into this space - a breaking in of his Kingdom. This is pretty exciting for me. God has begun to infuse meaningless things with purpose and irrelevancy with its own importance. It's still so new, but I am experiencing a profound monotony here that has brought me a lot of joy and has almost immediately made my spirituality more provocative to those around me.
"Christian perfection is the perfection of a relationship to God that shows itself amid the irrelevancies of human life. When you obey the call of Jesus Christ, the first thing that strikes you is the irrelevancy of the things you have to do, and the next thing that strikes you is the fact that other people seem to be living perfectly consistent lives."
My implication by this quote is not that I have, by any means, perfected my walk with God but, rather, that I resonate with this irrelevancy that he talks about. I'm struck by it on a fairly regular basis. I joke about the TPS reports I write and the Matrix that I plug into each day. I feel the apparent disconnect between what I do for eight hours each day and what I feel is my purpose in life.
But as of late, God has faithfully began to provide me with a more helpful way of looking at the same situation. Here's another quote I read the other day about brother Lawrence in the book, the practice of the presence OF GOD:
"Although he had a great dislike for kitchen work, he developed quite a facility for doing it over the fifteen years he was there. He attributed this to his doing everything for the love of God, asking as often as possible for grace to do his work. He said that he was presently in the shoe repair shop, and that he liked it very much. He would, however, be willing to work anywhere, always rejoicing at being able to do little things for the love of God."
This quote made me think, what if, instead of being here at work, I was on a spiritual retreat at a monastery with brother Lawrence (it sounds kinda silly but just go with me on this). In such a place I would know going in that the goal was to increase my intimacy with God and, to that end, I would first need to learn how to prepare myself for such intimacy. In such a context, it would make perfect sense to be tasked with something like washing dishes or scrubbing floors. These kind of simplistic tasks are designed not to challenge the mind with their complexity but to teach humility and simplicity. Theses tasks would leave ample space in one's mind to contemplate God, to quiet one's soul enough to actually feel the presence of God. Just this last weekend, I had the opportunity to help my church renovate our building by pulling carpet staples up from a stairway. This extremely monotonous task seemed to pose no problem for me. I rather enjoyed the opportunity to do something simple to serve God and to take the opportunity to talk with God about life.
With all of these thoughts swirling in my head, it occurred to me that I have been given some very similar "monastic tasks" at my current place of employment. But, in this space, I have not valued simplicity or the opportunity I have to contemplate and talk to God. I see it as a drudgery and I'm bitter for the whole experience.
So I've decided that a change of approach is necessary. Each morning, I have begun to ask God for patience, humility, and the grace to my job well out of love for him. During the day, I look forward to activities that leave much of my brain free to think about God and I look for opportunities to love and serve my coworkers.
I'm almost positive that at some point I blogged about my desire to find the Kingdom in this space. To pray and wait until I began to see God breaking into this place so that his presence is apparent to me and everyone. These recent thoughts have been very exciting to me as they represent a possible to answer to that prayer from God. Could such an attitude actually make it possible to turn this entire building into my own personal monastery? Surely this would signal God's entrance into this space - a breaking in of his Kingdom. This is pretty exciting for me. God has begun to infuse meaningless things with purpose and irrelevancy with its own importance. It's still so new, but I am experiencing a profound monotony here that has brought me a lot of joy and has almost immediately made my spirituality more provocative to those around me.
Sunday, December 11, 2005
A Turning Point?
After six months (almost to the day) of being in Richmond, I feel like just recently I've been given some very important insight into things by God. While I don't have time to elaborate right now, I do plan on blogging several times this week about it. Pray, specifically about my thoughts on work and life in Richmond in general. These are the areas that I feel like God is very specifically speaking to me right now. It has gone to show me that finding insight from God can often be best described as "wrestling" with God. I don't think God does this for any frivoluous reason. Rather, I think the process of wrestling with God brings us into closer proximity with him than we may have been for quite a while.
These past few months of wrestling with God have been incredibly rewarding. My take-away and my encouragement to others is to not just walk up to God, ask him a question, and then walk away regardless of the answer (or lack thereof). But, rather, to pursue God. He will never run so fast as to not be caught, but he will run just fast enough for us to see in our hearts whether or not we are willing to seek him out. I know that may be a problematic statement for some people to digest. If it is, please post your thoughts. I'd love to have more conversation about this awesome topic.
These past few months of wrestling with God have been incredibly rewarding. My take-away and my encouragement to others is to not just walk up to God, ask him a question, and then walk away regardless of the answer (or lack thereof). But, rather, to pursue God. He will never run so fast as to not be caught, but he will run just fast enough for us to see in our hearts whether or not we are willing to seek him out. I know that may be a problematic statement for some people to digest. If it is, please post your thoughts. I'd love to have more conversation about this awesome topic.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
More Time Than You Think
I just read the best article about Americans' use of time during the week. The article basically says that we have, on average, as much free time during the week as we have work time. Studies like this are great because they dispel the myth that Americans are too busy. Rather, it supports the fact that we're all just really good at wasting time. We're far too busy being stupified by our televisions (we average almost 3 hours a day) or doing something equally as trivial to engage in many other activities that would improve our (mental/physical/social/spiritual) conditions.
The take away for me is that we cannot passively manage our time and expect it to be spent well on a day-to-day basis. We must be active, even aggressive, in the way that we manage and protect our valuable time.
The take away for me is that we cannot passively manage our time and expect it to be spent well on a day-to-day basis. We must be active, even aggressive, in the way that we manage and protect our valuable time.
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