Today is a really special day for me.Today a very tough season of my life comes to an end - God has again provided in an amazing way. As I look back on this trial, I'm left with a lot of different thoughts. I don't blame God for this trial, although I've been tempted to many time over the past several months. I wonder what I could have done differently that could have shortened this trial or made it go away altogether. I wonder if I should have been stronger, wiser, or prayed more. But then I realize that is neither here nor there. Perhaps in the same situation years from now I would have fared much better. Being stronger and wiser, I would have known exactly what to do and how to handle myself. But, again, that thought has very little value to me right now. The point is that a trial is a trial because it was tough for me where I was at right now. I can't be down on myself about what I might have done differently. But, going forward, I do pray to God that I've learned something that will help me in other situations I may face. Perhaps some time in the future I will be in a very similar situation and will know better what to do - but only God knows the balance of my story.
Lastly, I've been haunted by what other people thought of me through this trial. Where they disappointed, where they suprised that I didn't handle myself better though it? I don't know. I probably will never know. But, in the end, it doesn't really matter. Throughout this season, I've asked God to guide my actions and help me to honor him always. In the end, if God is pleased with how I handled myself through this time then I'm more than satisfied with that.
Praise God for navigating me through yet another stretch of troubled waters. Today is my victory dance. :-)
3 comments :
Congratulations, dude. You'll have to tell me what the deal is. It's all about our stories, man.
I mean, it's totally awesome that you've come out on the other side of some holy character-building (to put a lighter spin on it) and recognized its benefits.
Bro - It's good to see this type of realness from people. Thanks for sharing your thoughts about wondering what others think. I think that most people struggle with this during trials. I know I do. There's this fear that people will find out that we really don't have it all together. But at the end of the day, as you were alluding to, it doesn't really matter. If you feel on point with God throughout the trial, then that's the important stuff. God's perspective is the one that matters, as he is the only one who can see beyond today.
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