Catch Me if you can...

Our Missional Community ended our fast together over dinner a couple nights ago. It was a beautiful time of fellowship capped off with a time of reflection on fasting. For half the room, this was the first time they had ever tried fasting and the reflections were rich. Many people commented on how it wasn't as bad as they thought it would be - a fair enough apprehension. Others commented that the day went by so fast that they didn't have the time they wanted to spend in prayer and meditation (myself included).

Still others blessed us by being honest enough to say that they tried to pray and meditate and didn't hear anything back. This left a mixture of disappointment, defeat, and a general feeling of silliness about seemingly talking to thin air. Then one of the women in our group shared a verse she had reflected on that day from Isaiah 58:

For day after day they seek me out; they seem eager to know my ways, as if they were a nation that does what is right and has not forsaken the commands of its God. They ask me for just decisions and seem eager for God to come near them.

'Why have we fasted,' they say, 'and you have not seen it? Why have we humbled ourselves, and you have not noticed?'

The truth is, if we were honest with ourselves and each other that night, after fasting for the last 20 hours or so we felt like God owed us something. Perhaps there was a false expectation that we were going to bow our head after a day of fasting and God was going to give us all the secrets of the universe. But this transactional view of our relationship with God is not something exclusive to our group. Many people are looking for the right combination, incantation, or sequence of actions that will unlock the silence and allow God's voice to pour through.

As our community continued to reflect, our experiences blended together like a recipe producing a rich collective insight - our time fasting that day had increased our appetite for God. For the people that were afraid fasting would be horrible and it wasn't, they wanted to do it again. For the people that didn't get much time to pray or meditate that day, they wanted to make more time for it going forward. For those that prayed and heard nothing back, it made them want to pray more and seek out God's voice in their life.

It seemed that our fasting had served its purpose that day. In the absence of food, we were hungering for God more. Rather than seeing God as a vending machine, our piety as currency, we were experiencing God the Romantic. Was God being coy or elusive if he was asking us to chase after him a bit? Or is that the entire point of a good romance? The point is this: God has asked us to chase after him, but he's made himself profoundly catchable.

The same woman that shared the first verse also shared the following to close our time. It's God's promise to us that we do not desire in vain when we seek him, I hope it encourages you to start the pursuit as well.

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. - Jeremiah 29:13