Thursday, March 24, 2005

To Die For (part 1)

I want you to indulge me for a second while I tell you a fictional story that happens every day. I was in 7-11 one day when I decided that I wanted to buy a soda. I walked over to the freezer, walking past several men giving me rather strange looks. I heard mumbling behind me as I reached for the door handle, opened the door, and pulled out a soda. I turn around in just enough time to see one of those men lunge toward me trying to grab the soda from my hands. Another man stood behind him blocking my way down the aisle. I get a running start, pushing past him and sending him flying into the bubble gum display. As I run toward the cashier, the first man yells out, "Do NOT sell that soda to him!!!!" I'm super freaked out at this point so I slam a dollar bill down on the counter, bolt out the door, and run down the street. Ten seconds later, the two men run out of the door as well. As soon as they see me, one of them yells, "He's got the soda, GET HIM!!!" The men no sooner get out of the parking lot than the 7-11 behind them blows up in a fiery explosion. The air is filled with smoke and tiny pieces of brick. The force of the blow knocked me down and into the grass. I quickly recover and begin to run away from the men.

"Just give us the soda man, that's all we want," the man yells after me, huffing and puffing as we bolt down the street. Andrenaline has kicked in and I'm flying down the sidewalk with a death grip on the soda that, for whatever reason, these men want so badly. I run towards a building and tear open the first door I reach. I start up the stairs but then turn back, smartly locking the door behind me. When I get to the second flight of stairs I hear the sound of gun shots then someone kicking the door open. I think to myself, "Holy crap, they've got a gun!!" as I run up the to the top floor of the building. "You'll be the next thing I shoot if you don't give me that damn soda!" The other man calls after me as I run through the doorway to the top floor. Flying down the hallway, there's a door at the end that leads out to a balcony. A strong shoulder through that door and I find myself at a dead end.

Suddenly, the men run out of the stairwell and run down the hall after me. I panic and look around. "These guys are ready to kill me for a stupid soda," I think as I eye a utility ladder beside the balcony that leads up to the roof. I grab the ladder and hoist myself up. I only get about a rung or two up the ladder when one of the men grabs my left foot. I shake him off and climb the ladder to the roof. I don't even hear the men anymore, just the sound of gravel under my feet as I run to the other side of the roof. Suddenly at the edge I stop, looking down at an alley and another building too far away for me to jump to. I turn around to see the men have stopped half way between me and ladder. Knowing they have me cornered, they stop to catch their breath. Then, standing back up, one of the men points a gun at me and says, "It's not that important man, just hand us the soda and we'll let you go. You don't want to die for a soda do you?" He had a point there. Thinking about it for a second, I look at the men and then I look back behind me at the alley and a dumpster below. Taking a step back toward the edge, the man with the gun yells out, "What are you doing?!" In one single, fluid movement, I turn on my heel and jump off the edge. Falling three stories into the dumpster and running down the street. Safe - for now.

There's a part two to this story, I'll post it on Easter Sunday. Till then let me ask you a question, why didn't I just give them the soda? Post your thoughts in the comments section.

6 comments :

Anonymous said...

I couldn't resist this one: because you're just as thirsty as they are! Of course, pop won't help much in the long run, since water would be better, but whatever.

So, seriously, let's say that I don't think this is metaphor for anything, but obviously the pop is something that you may/may not need, but you're ready to die to keep it from those who'll force it from you without your consent. Perhaps the latter half of that sentence is in the wrong direction, not quite the focus. The pop is important. It's Dr. Pepper, isn't it? Yeah, I thought so. I'd die for it, too. Good choice. The pop is obviously important not just to you, but to your attackers. Their motive might be just to keep it from you, since there was a whole rack of pop in the case at 7-11, or they want that particular can/bottle. You better enjoy that pop, or this story's gonna suck.

Jason Snook said...

what the heck is "pop"?

Anonymous said...

You didn't give them the soda because if you had given it to them this wouldn't be much of a story.

Anonymous said...

Pop is pop (aka, a soft drink). So, it was originally soda pop, if you weren't aware. We're both right.

michelle said...

i was just browsing around and stumbled on your blog...

question: is this some fictional story or dream or something?

kudos for a funny story.. i cant believe you are gonna get killed for some frickin soda pop...lol..

Ian Davis said...

i will punch you in the face if you don't tell me what's so cool about the soda!

altho, how lame would it be to just give them the soda? you would never know what the soda actually did.

my vote - it gives you the ability to fly! sorry to spoil it for anyone :-P